boredoom

ima wa, I’m bored...I have nothing to do and I’m slightly down today... I’m not going to tell you why as it will only make me feel horrible...at first, I wanted to post an entry about an article from Reader's Digest discussing elements that will lead to a happy life but as I’m unhappy today, I’ll post it later. Someday, when I can get back to my senses. Guys, I want to do something...my body, mind and soul crave for something that my brain do not know what...they just want something new...to be honest, I’m getting bored with this blog...I started doing this because I wanted to share something, to talk or whatsoever but now, I don’t think this thing gave benefits to me...now I realized that what I really want is to talk to someone....verbally....I do have friends but I just can’t let the words slip easily from my mouth...I feel that for each person that I know, there is a certain limit or certain way of approaching....for example, with A, I can laugh with her, tease her or even lay beside her but to tell her what I view life as is totally unimaginable. That is all that I can share with her. for me, each of every person that I befriends with will received different kinds of 'service' or approach from me...sorry, I cant think of other words besides 'service'...as with A, she see me as a good person as I treat her nicely while with B I might act like a serious, matured or angry person, with C I might act like her friends that she can always rely on, someone that will stand up and fight with anything or anyone that hurt her badly without any sound arguments while with D I might be a totally b*tch. Why? Because I treated people by the way she/he treated me...I’m a person who will expect 50% if I gave to him/her 50%...example, if I talk to him/her politely, I expect him/her to do the same. If I tease her, she can do the same...simple...if I received more than that, I’ll definitely treat her better as she deserves it but if I received less, it will hurt my feelings and I might treat her just like what she did to me...of course I do let certain things slip away or pretend not to see what they have done but if they take my careless attitude for granted and keep on repeating the same thing, they should be careful. There’s a bomb ticking waiting to explode inside me. People might say that if a person done bad to me it is maybe because I did the same thing to him/her...I do believe that. That is why even if I’m angry with someone, I still befriends to him/her as I think I probably hurt him/her. And as she gave me second chance by still talking to me, I will do the same...but as I mentioned earlier, there is a certain limit. You cross the line and you'll die. It has been 3 years since I last gave a person heart attack. my teachers and friends might wrote the incident in their dairies...jk...it did leave bad impression of me but I deserved it and that person who received my 'service' deserved it too...so, no regret..50-50...neither win nor loose. Some people might think that I'm inconsiderate which i don't mind as people would not expect me to be flawless then, which is a burden for a man.I'm a complex person. I’m a difficult person to be exact but trust me; if you leave good impression to me, I’ll certainly do the same...

angle will be treated like an angle...

p/s: as usual please excuse my grammar. (n_n)